Thanks, but no thanks!

I have some interesting emails in my spam box. They came from out of the country; and some are, supposedly, Asians as indicated by their names. They have very tempting propositions, which would make me a very wealthy person, if I snatch their baits. Here below is one of those emails:

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dearest Friend,

My name is Mrs. Rosie Chook, I am married to (Eng Mr.Pee Chook) from United Kingdom (U.K) who has an appointment in Tokyo, Japan as the chief Managing director to(ABC Uzuki Association Tokyo-Japan) under Engineering project/contract awarding section.

My husband died as a result of brief illness called heart attack, while he was coming back from (ASA) new location area on project inspection on Saturday 10th December 2006.

Before his death as a result of our joint account venture we have $7.3 million (US) dollars in our fixed deposit account.

Dear one I was brought up as an orphan and was married to my late husband for twenty years without a child and am of age, I am 68 years now and am suffering from kidney infection and a long time cancer of the lungs, which has partially affected my brain, and from all indication my condition is really deteriorating. According to my doctors, my health is very poor because of the cancer ailment, I can not stay to live up three months ahead, and I am having serious problem with my husband's family members.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my course and I shall hold my peace. Therefore I need a God fearing person who will assure me that he/she will use this fund to help the Motherless babies, Orphanage, Charity organization and less privileged once, and using for word of God.

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank.

I want you to always pray for me because I don't have many days to live.

Thanks
Yours in the lord Mrs. Rosie Chook.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She's not a friend. I have never met her; never interacted with her before - not in person, not through emails nor through message boards. Why would she ask me for help? Why would she trust me? That's a lot of money - $7.3 M - to give to a total stranger. I assumed that's what she wanted.

Now if I get that money, what would I do with it? Would I give it to charity? Keep it? MY GOODNESS it is so much. I could probably keep some...or most...of it to myself. What would I do with it? Gosh...ngatog na ang tumbong ko sa dami. Di na ako mapakali niyan. (My derriere would be shaking with all that money. I wouldn't be able to keep still.) Okay, relax! Here's what I would do, if ever:

I would build myself a big house. Not a mansion, just one big house for me and my family. A mansion would be too overwhelming for me. Buy a fancy car - hmmm...maybe a Rolls Royce, to replace my old rusty Ford Escort. Then I can brag that all I do is drive around in my Rolls. I'll hire a live-in housekeeper, so I won't have to do all the chores at home. I'll have more time to myself and paint all day...my nails, that is. Oh, wait, I'll summon a manicurist to do that for me. I forgot I'm already loaded (with money). My relatives will multiply. Some I've never known nor seen will come out of the woodwork and claim to be related to me. All of them will be forming a line at my door. I'll share some with them. Why not? Baka isumpa nila ako. (They might curse me.) I'll go on a tour twice or thrice a year; visit my friends out there. I'll buy a yatch; build a vacation house in Baguio. Sus, bagyo na ang panaginip ko. (Big dreams with a vengeance, just like a hurricane.)

But, wait! Hold on! I am not going to fall prey to this scam. I know it's a lot of money, but in the end I will lose whatever little money I have in the bank. I am not a rich person. No! I have very little means.

Her bank contact could be anybody. For all I know, it could be herself, not a bank official. And when the money is to be transferred to me, she or the bank will need my account number. Once I give it...wham! they got me. Yeah, they will get me, if I am stupid enough to fall for this scam. I don't think so. I may not be the smartest person around, but I'm not a sucker. Nope, I wouldn't let Ms. Chook go to the bank laughing. I will instead forward her email to the proper authorities, and let them deal with her...or him.

So there! :-p